Patterns…The Circle Game…

• Posted on May 25, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I just finished watching the Mind and Brain Seminar Series hosted by the University of Arizona and it got me thinking of how we perceive ourselves and our relationships with other people.  I learned some amazing things about the brain. For instance, it is a great predictor based on past experience.  That has huge implications if you really think about it. That means our past literally shapes our future. It means that we are creatures of patterns whether we know it or not. So, if we have only had negative experiences in our lives than that’s what we expect and therefore, that’s what we manifest.

This makes me think of something Oprah said once that resonated with me. She said that for a long time when something positive happened to her she became nervous and little paranoid that the other shoe was going to drop.  She was waiting for something to take it away from her or for a negative experience to happen that would outshine the positive experience.  It took her awhile to realize good things can just happen. They don’t have to be followed by chaos and havoc. Once she realized this more good things starting to happen and she started to feel better about it.

I have often felt that trepidation after something really wonderful happened to me.  It’s almost as if my mind couldn’t  fathom the idea of my happiness. I always wondered why.  Now, armed with this new information about how the brain works,  I fully understand what’s going on.

My childhood was not exactly good. There are many times I wonder how and why I survived and grew up to be a somewhat level-headed and responsible adult. I had sort of resigned to negative things happening to me brought on by other people. Any sort of happiness I have encountered has been through hard work and my own tenacity to make something of myself.

If we are looking at patterns, my brain would associate close people in my life with negativity and happiness takes great amount of work. So, if something good happened to me through a windfall of good luck, that is something my brain would not be able to predict, therefore it could not fully comprehend the concept. Hence, my trepidation and anxiety.

That is just one example but imagine its implications if we were to expand to the full complex webbed construct of our lives.  It’s staggering to realize how fully we can become our own worst enemies through patterns of negativity and doubt.

Fortunately, our brains are also plastic.  With awareness, psychotherapy and other cognitive tools we can remap our brains to function under a different set of rules.  We can reteach our brains to predict a more positive outcome. We can believe in ourselves and literally create a better future. That’s great news.

The hard part is having the strength to really look the patterns in our lives. Most of us do everything we can to distract ourselves. Most of us know more about the contestants on American Idol than we know about ourselves.

I think the key to happiness, manifesting, success, wealth, prosperity…whatever you are trying to attain begins with awareness. It comes from understanding why we hold true to certain patterns. Why we fear change. Why we have the relationships we do with our family and friends.  Why we continually sabotage ourselves or doubt ourselves our judge ourselves…

These negative patterns have been well-grooved into our psyche because our brain expects and predicts and we cater to it.  Clearly, it happens. How many times have you dated the same kind of guy or attracted the same kind of untrustworthy friends or worked in the same kinds of jobs? We do it all the time without even thinking about it until after the fact. Then we realize the pattern and hate ourselves for not learning the lesson which starts the cycle all over again.

However, instead of chastising ourselves, if we would take that same energy and really look our pattern and get down the meat of why it happens…that is awareness. That is the key to changing our negative patterns into better, more positive patterns that will fulfill our dreams for a better future.  Then, the next time we find ourselves falling into an old groove or pattern we will be able to catch it and redirect it.  Once that positive change falls into place then our brains can predict other positive experiences. Eventually, that’s all our brains know and our manifestations start to become a reality. Better yet, we can have more fulfilling relationships. We can finally learn to love ourselves and feel proud of the world we have created.

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